I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
