this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
