U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
