I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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