Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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