I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize