i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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