I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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