Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
