If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
