So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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