my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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