just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
where am i from again
she looked like the before picture.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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