Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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