I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
