I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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