ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
