That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
