Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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