Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
