he shaved USA in his pubs
false alarm. still invincible.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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