so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
