Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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