my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
