you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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