I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I need a beard to bite.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
