her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
