I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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