Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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