he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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