I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
