Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.