college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..