Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal