i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.