Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.

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(865): sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself. http://tfl.nu/7igx

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(504): View more from Louisiana

That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.

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(504): That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy. http://tfl.nu/e23b

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(801): View more from Utah

Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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(801): Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail http://tfl.nu/5fc6

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(954): View more from Florida

everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

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(954): everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone http://tfl.nu/mp6q

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(352): View more from Florida

all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits

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(352): all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits http://tfl.nu/ppej

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(404): View more from Georgia

where are you?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

sonic

(404): View more from Georgia

Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.

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(404): where are you? (1-404): sonic (404): Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/pjgu

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again

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(225): Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again http://tfl.nu/n0xl

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(804): View more from Virginia

He likes Jesus. Game over.

(804): View more from Virginia

Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

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(804): He likes Jesus. Game over. (804): Oooh wait, he just told me he was high. http://tfl.nu/lcdj

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(408): View more from California

Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape

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(408): Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape http://tfl.nu/uzlj

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(678): View more from Georgia

I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.

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(678): I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back. http://tfl.nu/lb6m

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(518): View more from New York

hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river

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(518): hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river http://tfl.nu/791q

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(940): View more from Texas

Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers

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(940): Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers http://tfl.nu/bomc

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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(413): Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn http://tfl.nu/nu2n

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(909): View more from California

When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

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(909): When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too? http://tfl.nu/ln8u

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(309): View more from Illinois

It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.

(1-309): View more from Illinois

...Wow...

(309): View more from Illinois

I could be a kindergarten teacher

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(309): It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life. (1-309): ...Wow... (309): I could be a kindergarten teacher http://tfl.nu/o4tt

Replies (20) Good night (1201) Bad night (339)

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