dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
