break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
