Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
