U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
