Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
