I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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