Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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