I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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