Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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