you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How naked do you want me to be?
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