don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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