My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
