I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize