Your dad touched me again.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize