ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
