I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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