I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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