thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also, beer. Big fan.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
