You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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