I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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