The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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