Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
