Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
