you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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