the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
