I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
