Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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