He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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