I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
